Coalition Makes a Stand for Keeping Fathers/Children United

photo: Francis da Silva

The American Coalition for Fathers and Children
recently opened a chapter in the Sunset District.

By Peter Sciacca

Contending that family laws, courts and regulatory polices often favor women in situations where parents live separately, the American Coalition for Fathers and Children (ACFC) seeks equality in resolving disputes over children.

"Our motto is, 'Every child has a father,'" said Gene Jackson, the executive director of the Bay Area-Northern California Affiliate (BANCA) of the ACFC. "However, it seems that our society does not place enough of an emphasis on the importance of fathers being involved in their kids' lives."

The three greatest challenges faced by men who don't have custody of their children are visitation rights, financial limitations caused by alimony and child-support payments and knowing where to turn for various resources.

"A lot of fathers are not given many opportunities to see their children," Jackson said. "A recent example of this has been our involvement in the 'move away moms' trial."

The case Jackson is referring to is a Supreme Court ruling that bars mothers from moving far distances away from their children's fathers uncontested.

"Now they can't move away just because they feel like it," he said. "If a mother wants to relocate with a child it has to be decided by a court.

"Children are hit hard by the depression that comes from not spending time with their dads. No matter what someone may think of their former spouse or partner, both parents need to put children first."

Jackson also pointed to father-son relationships being damaged by spousal alienation.

"There are a lot of negative comments being fed to children by some mothers that are bitter about the collapse of a relationship," he said.

One of BANCA's members, who serves in the military, is currently involved in a "move away mom" battle.

The father had custody of his children before he was deployed to Iraq. He agreed to turn over custody to his estranged wife on the condition that the children would be returned to them when he returned. However, when he came back the mother refused to return custody and wants to move away. 

The ACFC is also pushing to relieve the financial strain that many fathers face by lobbying for fairness in child support.

"It is hard to live off of only 25 percent of your money," Jackson said. "That is what many dads have left every month after paying more than their share."

Through a variety of resources, the ACFC offers emotional support for frustrated, angry and depressed fathers. The organization also helps fathers make informed decisions on crucial parental issues.

"Often men don't know about the resources available to them," Jackson said. "Among the things you learn from the ACFC is how to conduct yourself in court.

"It is important to plead your case with more facts than emotion."

Long before Jackson was appointed BANCA's executive director in March, he benefited from several years of ACFC's guidance.

"In 1996, I was in the middle of a divorce and didn't have any money to hire a lawyer," he said. "The former executive director of the ACFC, who happened to be a woman, helped me get an understanding of how family law works."

The ACFC also offers legal referrals and has lobbyists throughout the United States working on behalf of the organization's members. However, providing emotional support can be just as important.

"It is challenging to keep men's spirits up," Jackson said. "There is a huge need for groups like ours.

"Sometimes a father is so angry about a break-up that it makes it hard for him to stay involved with his kids. We try to steer them away from this so they can be there for their children."

While there are several factors that are linked to the charge that fathers do not receive fair legal treatment, Jackson has his own theories.

"Economically, it is easier (for a court) to decide that one person is good and the other is bad," he said. "A lot of fathers' rights organizations have had a tough struggle to change this bias.

"Domestic violence perpetrated by some men has also damaged parental rights for all dads."

BANCA's current focus is to increase membership and improve the effectiveness of fundraising efforts to provide more services for members.

"We also want to get more guest speakers at our meetings, such as District Attorney Kamala Harris," Jackson said. "We think she can have a great impact on educating men about parental laws."

Some other ideas that Jackson has for BANCA include a Father's Day picnic, father-son walks and speaking to teens at San Francisco schools.

"We want to talk to boys about the responsibilities of fatherhood and help reduce teen pregnancies," he said.

One of the most common accusations that Jackson has encountered during his years with the ACFC is that his group is anti-women.

"Nothing could be further from the truth," he said. "We just want men to be given equal rights when it comes to their children."

He said several women have held key positions in the group and female friends or family members often recommend ACFC.

"There are also a lot of new wives or girlfriends that are extremely supportive of these fathers," Jackson said.

There are about 40 members of the BANCA chapter of ACFC. Nationally, there are more than 1,000 ACFC members.

BANCA meets the first Tuesday of every month, at 7 p.m., at Sunset Youth Services, located at 3918 Judah St. For more information, call Jackson at 665-9587.